Grade: DThis wasn’t painful, but it wasn’t good. For the next fifteen minutes, we went over fire inspection paperwork with an elephant in the room the shape of a dildo.A nearly-TSTL heroine, her way-OTT mother-in-law, a completely transparent “suspense” plot, inane and irrelevant details about houses, horses, sex toys, street names, etc., etc.And…the Evil Villain. Oy. Uff da.Are you ready for this? Because this is where the gnomes come into play.Are you SURE? All righty, don’t say I didn’t warn you.The Evil Villain is a ranch owner trying to retrieve stolen vials of valuable horse semen that were hidden in garden gnomes purchased by the heroine’s young sons at a yard sale.But how does that make him villainous, you ask? It doesn’t.He’s an evil villain because he’s — wait for it — a Pyscho Dom With Horse Tranquilizers.I SHIT YOU NOT. On all counts.